We’ve almost made it to the end of the year super cool and gorgeous people! What a ride it has been! Let’s get straight to it.

Make me over, make me niiiiceeee

One of the most wonderful things I’ve discovered this year is how many ways there are for me to be me. There is so much power in being able to constantly shift and transform. I think I have always taken pride in being able to be evolve, and change. However, recently I’ve found the beauty in complete renovation – even the big scary monster of demolition. The foundation remains. In this year alone I have seen so many versions of myself, and I can so with full transparency that each version is better than the last. I think that it’s sometimes hard to see change in yourself. Whether it be physical or otherwise, it is still much easier to see the change around us than it is to see in ourselves.

This year I have focused so heavily on THE QUEEN. I notice everything now. I literally can feel my eyebrows growing in one by one post threading these days. But more importantly, I see how much I have changed. I have become so patient, so kind, and so understanding. I have been able to let go of things and of people that I would have gripped to no end just a few lifetimes ago. I am becoming the woman of my dreams with each evolution. I am so grateful to not only be going through these new births, but to have the vision to see them. The even cooler part of all of this is that there is no graveyard. No morbid symbolism that I am not who I once was because there is no need to mourn these deaths. Those girls (and semi stud) live on in me, in those who I’ve met, and even here on this little blog that I can’t manage to shut up on!

I’m still here boo

I think that you all can probably tell looking through this blog that I went through HELL this year. At one point I 10000% had no intentions of making it to the end of the year because I was TIRED. But, by nothing but the grace of Big Sandals I made it, and I’m so much better than before. I find so much joy in being able to endure now. I guess this section is piggy backing off of my last one… don’t care. I actually broke up with my therapist at one point this year. I told her that I didn’t care to continue to try to heal and get better. I just was ready to go. So I did. Had to k**l that version of myself immediately. Now that girl had to get cremated.

I went back a few weeks later after spending time with my friends over Halloween. I was reminded how loved I am and how much more there still is to experience. My rough days, weeks, months, and years paled in comparison to how much good was ahead. I can’t imagine leaving the people who love me so so much just because things got hard. Even though I am a billion miles away from those that I love so dearly, just a few days with them completely reversed 10 months of straight BS.

I had the happiest birthday of my life this year. Having the freedom to be a complete idiot in a beautiful place with one of my best friends in the world. After the trip was over, I came home and cried because I couldn’t believe that I got to bring in a new year surrounded by pure love for the first time in a long time.

So ofc The Queen has done a ton of work, my therapist probably deserves a bonus, Big Sandals is extra deep in his bag of tricks, but I can’t end the year without saying thank you to my people. You have saved my life time and time again no matter how far the distance. Life really is not meant to be lived alone. I am so thankful that I get to share all of the lives with such wonderful people, and I get to be super sexy, empathetic, and hilarious during it!

WNGFT

To break up all of the mush and gush of this post I have another dating horror story to terrorize you with!!!!!!! *cue the Jamaican air horns* Doing it for the plot has gotten me in more questionable situations than I am comfortable admitting. Nonetheless, I continue to do it because why not? So I met this guy through a friend. He was fine s*** so I mean I was open. First red flag, he got drunk around me. I am extremly open minded but I just don’t think being drunk is for boys. So after the word slurring I decided he would not be touching my private parts ever. Second red flag, he let me drive his brand new car. In my mind he is an Idiot footlong sandwich because my driving is VERY questionable. SEVERAL red flags later… he proceeded to show me a video of his mychart that is several months old. This was done to try to convince me that I should sleep with this man that gets drunk and lets strange women drive his cars and come into his home. Clearly his decision making skills SUCK. He fell into a drunken stupor and I proceeded to call an uber with his card info and took a hoodie that I liked. Moral of the story is I continue to meet the most insane men in the world and in return I may be becoming an even more insane woman. El oh el

I LOOOooove I looOOOOOVe I loveeee I loveeee I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee

• Living, laughing, and loving. The three most beautiful things in life.
• My Wii!!!! This is easily one of the best things I’ve been given this year. I’m getting my Michael Jackson movie choreo together. Ketchup mustards!
• Balling, chilling, stunting. Another trio of things that are extremely important.
• I Won’t Let You Fall by Hellen Miller – This was my most played song this year. It’s so so good. Big Sandals handed the pen to my girl himself.

Girl please…..

Okay okay okay….. enough of my antics and babbling. I am so excited to be leaving this year where it is and making 2026 mine. I hope that life continues to be gracious, kind, and full for all of you. May Big Sandals continue to bless us all. Okay and now you are really like d*mn girl please STFU and so I will.

See ya next year bookies

TooooooooOOOOOdLEEEEEeeesssss